My Own Words

so was the birthday girl

2010-11-14T12:21:00.000-08:00

LC CAFE ROCKS

JOHORE

Happy 39th birthday

2010-11-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

(The world behind my wall)

Today I had alot of fun with the Norida's family. They really perks me up although it was a last minute plan by the cousins. I just want to post a shout out to Norida Hassan a Happy wonderful 39th birthday, may god bless you and your family.

mama, be strong i know you are sick but hang on you're getting better now.just pray to god that everything is ok.
alhamdulliah everything's gonna be fine

and now i like the boho style! so what?

2010-10-03T04:26:00.000-07:00

I remember years ago, someone told me i should take

caution when it comes to love, i did.

shontelle

2010-10-02T02:56:00.000-07:00

2010-05-29T20:33:00.001-07:00

Remember we used to touch the sky
lighting dont strike the same place twice
you & i say goodbye I felt the angels cry
true love's a gift
we let it drift in a storm every night
i feel the angels cry

The urge to breakup.

2010-03-27T09:05:00.000-07:00

Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel

Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it

Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

I wished I had that overwhelming feeling all over me again.
I am simply just so tired mentally; heart and soul.
It seems like I'm falling ot of it....gradually....
Unless of course he reels me back And got me crazy all over again.

ps/ Im glad that I'm not down with any elements of a boring saturday for today & sometimes
the only thing we should realise is that, money cant buy love nor happiness.

I'll go my own way

2010-03-26T02:32:00.000-07:00

I just wannabe

When I Look At You.

2010-03-25T08:17:00.000-07:00

( I love bf!)

Everybody needs inspiration,

Everybody needs a song

A beautiful melody

When the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee

That this life is easy

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like Kaleidoscope colors that
Cover Me, All I need every
Breath that I breathe don't you know
Your beautiful

2010-03-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

After what happened last night, I conclude that there are indeed some crazy people in this world who needs to sort things out between them and their only self.

And also, do not ever mess with me for I am not afraid to resort to reporting to the authorities when the need arises. What makes you think that you can escape all those rubbish you created by simply not admitting to it?

I can jollywell throw all the evidence I have gathered at your face, plus a bloody important witness

to testify against you if I really am pursing you for crime. To sweetened the deal, I may even consider filing

a lawsuit against you for defamation and claim damages which will wreck your whole family apart with financial burden.

so dont be a fool people.

it's too good to resist

2010-03-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

I got waken up by my bf's sms, thanks to him for waking me up in the morning.

His at work today and as for me Im at home, Im on mc and I guess Im in a total carefree now.

Mama was down with sore throat and I am complaining about the cold rainy weather.

Went to Farrer Road with my brother to meet my uncle who will lend us his car since he will be away to Malacca

for a week. After fetching the car, We fetched our mom back at home so that we could go to Cold Storage

and Holland Village together to do our groceries.

That was how morning was spent. Driving from Farrer Road to Woodlands and from Woodlands to Holland Village. By then I couldnt take the cold and chilly weather any longer and suggested to Mama to watch movie later at

night instead of tomorrow.

Mama surprised me yesterday by bringing me to Marce at Vivo City. What a concidence. I was just thinking

of going to Vivo City one of these days but I did not mention my thoughts to her.

For all you know, she brought me there by itself plus my brother.

We had calamari, mushroom soup, brothers' ribeye steak, my lamb racks

and mama chicken sausage and we finished off with each of our favourite sinful treats; our strawberry cheesecakes

and my Bailey's mascarphone.

And I totally completely forgot that my mascarphone had Bailey's in it! Only after i finishing it, then I realised

that I've consumed Bailey's through I guess it's only a little. It's too good to resist! I hope, my innocent

ignorance is pardoned especially in this month. Erghs.

Anyway, thank you mama for the lovely treat :D

2010-03-22T06:38:00.000-07:00

I was exiting the MRT and instead of walking to take my another bus trip, I head

to guardian to look for any good aloe vera gel for my newly waxed skin.

That is how free I was. I wasnt as busy as I had always been. The firm's mode is kinda slowing down

for now. Being busy can be either good or bad. Good because I have alot of time in my hands

to do unnecessary stuffs like poking bf at msn, doing the exact thing

I'm doing right now, and lastly watching movies online. so free kan? Bad is because

the time seems to pass by slowly. much to slow for my liking

& when sleepiness kicks in, that is even worse. No amounts of caffeine could perk me up.

goodnight!

2010-03-21T22:29:00.000-07:00

( I LOVE YOU, FARIS ASYRAF!)

And I don't ever wanna be with no one else

you're the only one that ever made me melt

you're special, boy it's your, your style

we so in love

2010-03-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

Anyway today my mom tried to cheer me up by doing some shopping and bringing me to swensens. It's a treat from herand i'm really touched by her sweet gesture to cheer me up and really wanting me to go out and forget about the sadness

"mama mcm phm la"

We ordered crayfish pasta,breaded chiken,fries,mint ice cream and sticky chewy chocolate ice cream.Ok so she loves me to take picture of herself and thank goodness

my phone is not with me.i spoilt it so i have to go repaired it.Somehow she made my day and at least my mind is off sorrowful things and the whole day is spent doingsomething more relieving, rather than staying at home getting all cooped up in pillows on my

bed cryingover everything.Shit happens.But i belive it will go away

goodnight

2010-03-21T01:45:00.001-07:00

Now I can feel a change in meand I can afford a slippage from the person I was meant to be I'm not afraid to move alone not give it up but moving on before it gets to deep cause your taking all of my energy

2010-03-20T08:52:00.000-07:00

It talks about a relationship being so wonderful, It almost too good to be true you dont know if this is a sweet dreams or a beautiful nightmare

2010-01-19T03:17:00.000-08:00

Give us the strength to make it through help us find love 'cause love is overdueAnd it seems like so much is goin' wrong on this road we're on.

2010-01-13T22:18:00.000-08:00

Baby I love you, you are my life My happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side You're my relation and connection to the sun With you next to me, there's no darkness I can't overcome You are my raindrops, I am the seed With you and God who's my sunlight I'm blooming, grown so beautifully Baby I'm so proud, proud to be your girl You make the confusion go all away from this cold and misty world

2010-01-11T22:00:00.000-08:00

My new year celebration if fun, I met alot of my secondary school friends.

anyway Im here at my friends crib D'Launa Orphea. Accompany her for 4 hours since she's alone at home.We decided to gossip around having lots of fun and its so awsome.

Baby wants me to meet him at Mchperson tonight, and Im kinda lazy so most prolly would meet him tomorrow or next week.(lol!)

I need to get my nails done. see ya

2009-12-13T03:44:00.000-08:00

I shop alot.

2009-12-12T12:20:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY U.SHARK

Today was the greatest day ever, today I went to clark quay for dinner, it was superb. Birthday boy spent time with us since it is his birthday haha thanks for the treat anyway. Sorry if I didnt bought you anything after eating we went to Orchard Towers

for the fun of it. It was so havoc. But there's alot of pretty sisters. agree?

Anyway Life's kinda fine and sometimes bad.

I dont know how to overcome life?

but I know I'll get this over by the end of the day

2009-12-10T13:14:00.001-08:00

ALLLLVVVIIIINNNNNNN

I MISS YOU

2009-12-10T13:03:00.000-08:00

I miss someone that I love most amoung all of my ex. I really miss him no one knows except for rynn : ( He means everything to me. But maybe life's is kinda fair and things must go on.

This is stupid I'm not stupid Don't talk to me Like I'm stupid I still love you But I just can't do this I may be dumb but I'm not stupid

They tell me let goHe is not the one I thought I saw your potential Guess that's what made me dumb He don't want it Not like you want it Scheming and cheating Oh girl, why do you Waste your timeYou know he aint right Telling me thisI don't wanna listen But you insist On repeatedly tryingTo tell me lies And I just don't know why

Alvin

2009-12-05T10:49:00.000-08:00

I barely cant wait for monday night im gonna enjoy my whole night with sam .

I really cant wait for that night ,I'm happy and now I couldnt fall asleep.

I love/like you alot. Cant wait to see you in your room

xoxo

2009-12-05T05:12:00.000-08:00

And you can see my heart beating, you can see it through my chest

said I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving I know that I must past this test

so just pull the trigger

2009-12-02T07:12:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed myself today with someone I love most. Anyway headed Habour Front to get my dinner, went subway with love. It was pretty awsome after we had our dinner he sent me home .

We chatted alot while we were in his car (lol!) lipas terbang wth ? okay that's enough.

To Ryrynn Collin Im so sorry for my behaviour towards you. I hope you're okay. I guess im behaving like shit for the past few days back. But no need worry Im okay too & I already forgive you since the start of our fight whatever it still, I still love you babygirl :)

Im too tired to blog now, I better get going

much love.

2009-12-01T01:54:00.000-08:00

I cant help thinking that ego is not the word for it. Lunacy maybe? Oh boy, the holiday mood starts kicking in.
As usual, I'm always looking forward to off days or the weekend beacuse that's the time I feel most carefree and happy
Although it is quite dissapointment that I didnt turned in for work on last few weeks, if I do turned up you'll see the good mood slash angelic Alysha.

Anything that ever comes out from your mouth is foul and cocksfull stories.
I wonder when will you ever change. The barrier is almost strong. I shall have you released from the circle.
For now I have no futher interest in you boy.

Im off now.

2009-11-29T04:11:00.000-08:00

I had fun going overseas, it really bring joys to my family and myself . I really enjoy myself we had alot of fun.

Anyway I bought lots of stuff when im out station. Bought some t's for myself . stay in a hotel with my family and all alone in my own room but lucky there's fiona and zulhelmi who accompanied me, if not i'll be all alone.

but i feel most carefree when i was there. overall it was the best .

xoxo

2009-11-22T05:05:00.000-08:00

Mummy Taqilla

(the middle)

I fucking miss mummy T, still remember the time when we're together in school (lol!)

i wanna meet her as soon as possible

i miss her

mummy taquilla

2009-11-22T03:42:00.000-08:00

Anyway today my aunt tried to cheer me up by doing some shopping and bringing me to swensens. Its a treat from her and I'm really touched by her sweet gesture to cheer me up and really wanting me to go out and forget about the sadness.

We ordered Crayfish pasta, breaded chiken, fries, mint ice cream, sticky chewy chocolate ice cream.

Ok so she loves me to take a picture of herself and thank godness my phone is not with me , I spoilt it so i have to go repaired it.

Somehow she made my day and at least my mind is off sorrowful things and the whole day is spent doing something more relieving , rather then staying at home getting all cooped out in pillows on my bed crying over everything . shit happens but i belived it will go away.

goodbye

2009-11-18T20:06:00.000-08:00

I LOVE MYSELF

2009-11-10T18:24:00.000-08:00

I love Taylor Lautner

Anything will give up its secret if you love it enough. Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower or to the little peanut they will give up their secrets, but I have found that when I silently commune with people they will give up their secrets also if you love them enough.

2009-10-24T23:47:00.000-07:00

My saturday couldn't get any better.

With my family not at home & I'm all alone in this room.

And its raining heavily outside. A good weather to snuggle up in bed.

Anyway, I've came to realise one thing. This has got nothing to do with any recent events

whatsoever but somehow, these are just some random thoughts that slipped my minds.

I know that one has to be responsible for one's action,

be it wrong, or right, sinful, or praised and in whatever form of nature it is (words spoken/written, thoughts ect), we have to take reponsibility for our own actions. I know people, especially the older generations, may think of us negatively once they learnt the kinds of things we do outside, sins to be exact .

All I'm trying to say here is, I may offend others with my writtings, or in whatever I do in my life which may not appeal to some people, or they find it morally wrong. Nonetheless, I am a grown up and the thing I do then or now however do not clash with my true inner self. In short, I may do all kinds of wrong things but I have a good heart and maybe one day, I will stop doing it altogether.

I do not wish for anyone to judge me by what i do, or what I have done. But keep in mind that our doings do not reflect who we are entirely. I took responsibility for my actions but I will never

tolerate any negatively that is assumed by others for my doings, the only thing I'm good at is just to ignore it because somehow, these significant others are not the one judging me in my afterlife.

Till Then

2009-10-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

It's been long time since I updated my blogger. Im kinda busy actually with my life. I've finished my school and Im waiting for my upcoming results, im kinda scared so do wish me good luck.
i gotta work, and stop lazying around.

with love.

2009-10-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

EXAMS ARE OVER AND IM FREE

2009-09-30T19:22:00.001-07:00

IM UGLYYYYY AND I SUCKED THATS IT

2009-09-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

Happy 17TH Birthday

Today I celebrated my birthday with my very own best friend. Got lots of presents from friends & family.
Really appreciated thoug. Now Im gonna have my beauty rest.
Thanks people for the birthday wishes

much love.

2009-09-18T03:35:00.000-07:00

( I want to be the one, who you belive in your heart, im sent from, sent from heaven.)

I have been wondering how should i supposed to face everything in this world?. anyway, sorry for not updating for quite long time. Life for me have been so great. I'm still enjoying life. I'm on a 3 weeks break since i've just finished my September papers and now I'm waiting for my last october papers and soon I'll be so carefree.

Yesterday night I had a little short trip to Wisma Atria just to get my heels for Hari Raya It was a Black heel, I think I really like it since it's very edgy following my fashion sences. It cost me a bomb, thanks to mama who accompanied me, I love you mama & we headed to starbucks to get our coffee its delicious and we had some cheesecakes its really worth it.
I think I should get some cheese cakes from starbucks just along the road of Holland Villlage.

Alright I Guess, I have to go now will update juicy post later :D

Pain

2009-08-18T03:53:00.001-07:00

PMS!

whats life is about.

2009-08-12T19:26:00.000-07:00

I'm sick for the past few days and did not attend school.I even didnt take my two papers (omg!)
Anyway olife have been good and nice. Im always carefree at the momment

But I wonder why I'm really typing this because the only people that can ever fully grasp our friendship and what not are myself and him. But my main reason for writing this is that I don't understand why (1)...I can't seem to get over him. I always think I can get over him then BAM its back to square one. And (2) Why can't he and I be together? I mean you would figure after umm lets see about 6 years I'd realize it aint happenin. He's all I want in so many ways. I feel like way back in 7th grade he saw through and past my dorkiness to the real me who lay behind all that dust to become one of my best friends when I needed it most. I found this poem thing when I was looking for a different poem on the net tonight and really thought I should copy it down. I have no idea who the author is...not even the title...but let me share it with you:

"Give me a chance.
So you can see,
What a perfect couple...
We could be.

Give me a chance.
For us to be together.
I'll never let you go...
I will be with you forever.

Give me a chance.
Please be mine.
And I'll be yours...
Until the end of time.

Give me a chance.
This is true.
Why can't you love me...
Like I love you?"

That is so in sync with my feelings and what not. And for those who don't know me enough personally, I make plans about everything LoL. And this gave me an idea. A kind of now or never deal thing. (As long as he's single.) BUT I can't tell you guys because it'll ruin it LoL. You'll just have to wait to see the results even though I think I know what they'll be anyway.
My love for him is so deep that somedays I can't help but love him and other days I can't help but hate him and cry...then feel bad for hating him and so on. Its a rollercoaster or emotion just when I see him. I just don't want to hurt like I do anymore I guess. Amazing how I can't seem to tell him any of this. When I was in Virginia the thing that kept me umm I dunno less homesick I guess was thinking of him and that when I get back he'll be here and I'll be able to see him. Preeeeetty pathetic. I would sit and listen to "our song" which really isn't our song and he doesn't know I call it that, but there's reason behind it. The reason is...back in 8th grade we would be on the computer and get bored so we'd "sing" songs. And this song is the one we sang the most...Back At One...by Brian McKnight. Yeeeeah...even MORE pathetic.
I'm tired and these thoughts are much more scatterbrained than they should be so I think I'll just take my sappy ass to bed LoL. How's that sound? Hannah should be in bed too anyway. So goodnight to anyone who actually reads my mindless blabber and thanks for keeping up with me LoL. ToodleZ and sweet dreams!!! ((How come whenever I go to write these things the things I REALLY wanna write about never seem to get from my mind to the screen?!))

You had me at

2009-08-11T02:37:00.000-07:00

I miss my babyboy since something had happen between me and him :( ,

but i hope he forgive me and I forgive him from something that he hide from me .

Anyway boy, I miss you so much and i love you too.

"We want more than this world's got to offer... We want more than the wars of our fathers... And everything inside screams for second life."

I think I'm finally doing alright. Like seriously...for a long time now behind my smiles have been these tears that I hid. And it was because of other people. I was always so caught up in making people who didnt even know me happy in the things I did or how I chose to be. But fuck them they aren't who matters. and in the end of life after all the wanting and taking...when it all comes down to the final moments... they'll wish for a second chance to do it all over again...better this time. And this wish continues for generations and generations. But I refuse to live for them. I will live my dreams...I will be me... whoever that is...I choose it. No one else. And on that note...until tomorrow night...goodnight everyone. I'll just be happy being me.

Just so you know

2009-08-06T07:15:00.001-07:00

I missed bf alot. I dont know why? we msg/chat quite often. His busy with exams, Im busy with dance and stuff.
I cant really bare seeing him alone all time. He needs me by his side , looking at his picture makes me happy. I love him alot. and I hope he loves me too. haha . Exams went super good and easy. wak-ever kan.

( I love Riduan Imran, my boyfriend )

I'm starting to decide whether I've hit the downward spiral in my life or not yet. My friends are partying without me, and I'm having a hard time dealing because I'm still 16 and my mother has a hold over when I leave and where I go. 3 months til I'm 17 and I can't stand that shit. I miss my friends like no tomorrow...but I'm unsure of what I miss more, because I love getting messed&trashed and what not with them. The hit...the rush...the flow...the emotions....the thoughts. The booze, the drugs, the sex. How nothing else matters than those moments right there in that instant. How the future is so far away...with no pressure held on me. Maybe that's what it is. No pressure. I'm around friends, saying whatever I wanna say, doing whatever I feel like doing. And nothing appears to hold any consequences. Because the future is a distant star we'll worry about hitting later. This is my escape...every weekend or every other weekend, I leave home, get trashed, smashed, and blowed...enjoy it, then I go back to the harshness of reality and how I'm not ready to deal with everything life has in store for me. I have no effort to do anything to advance myself anywhere. All I wanna do is fly...be free...god why does life have to be this way. It lifts me where my dreams have always been.